At what point in time does the person who is supposed to be standing up for you and keep you safe start? I don't need protection, I don't need a hero, but I also don't need him to be the one causing the pain like he is. I don't mean to be a downer, but I never wanted to be the person stuck like this. I feel like sometimes he doesn't see me and I feel like he'd stick up for anyone else over me, even my friends. Which I love, don't get me wrong. But it would be nice once in a while for the girl he says he loves, and the girl he says is his everything, it would be once to see him stand up for me once in a while. I don't want to be needy and I hate that I am being, but what if he just sees through me.
I don't know if I believe that word anymore. Love. I don't know what it means anymore. I feel like because he's over used it so much that it doesn't mean the same thing. He just says it, he doesn't ever show it. And the few times he does show it, like 5 minutes later he ruins that feeling for me.
I love stupid romanticy shit. I am a sucker for it. He doesn't do any of it. Nothing. I don't know if he really knows me. The one thing he has bought me, since we have been together, I hate it. It's not my taste at all. And its not like I am picky, everyone says I'm so easy to buy for because I love crazy, out of the ordinary things. And he buys me the most typical, cliche thing. Also, I hate roses. I think they are impersonal and dumb and over rated. But all he ever gets me are roses. I don't know. I just wished he knew me as well as he thought he did. He always tells me how I am feeling, instead of asking me and when he does ask me he tells me I'm lying.
Why does he need to have control over everything?
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